Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
microcheating?width=719&height=464&fit=crop&auto=webp
microcheating?width=398&height=256&fit=crop&auto=webp
Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions / Hofflund/Polone / Warner Bros. Television
Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Isn’t “Micro-Cheating?” Just… Cheating?

In the dating world, there are undoubtedly many unspoken rules, and even more TikTok theories. One in particular is known as micro-cheating and the concept has been widely circulating on social media feeds. But what does micro-cheating mean? And why is it all TikTok is talking about?

Micro-cheating usually involves subtle actions that may seem innocent at first glance, but hint at interest in another individual. This can include lying about being single while in a committed relationship, talking to an ex without a partner’s knowledge, flirting while having a night out, or confiding in someone other than one’s partner. Micro-cheating is also subjective, so it can be difficult to navigate in relationships. Ultimately it is seen as “small breaches of trust in a relationship that don’t pass the threshold into a physical affair” according to Psychology Today.

So what makes cheating different from micro-cheating? Micro-cheating varies from person to person and is not black-and-white. According to TikTok, micro-cheating includes betrayals that typically aren’t physical. This could be attempting to impress someone who’s not your partner, being touchy with someone else, and even complaining about your partner to other people. What can be seen as micro-cheating to one person may be totally acceptable to another. After all, everyone has different red flags.

TikTok users have also widely embraced discussing what *exactly* micro-cheating is to them while providing a lengthy list of examples, creating discourse in comment sections (because it really is complex).  

@giaaldisert

brutally honestly describing microcheating #relationshipadvice #cheating #microcheating Products: Essence @Farmacy Beauty Serum @The Ordinary Hydration @Drunk Elephant Spot treatment @Skinfix Eye cream @Youth To The People Barrier cream @Tower 28 Beauty Spray @fresh Lip mask @LANEIGE Hair oil @K18 Hair

♬ original sound – gia

Is there a way to avoid a micro-cheater?

There is one key way to prevent micro-cheating from occurring in a relationship, and that key is none other than communication. When entering a relationship, it’s important to understand what your partner feels comfortable with and learn what they could perceive as disloyal. People often enter relationships with differing expectations and perceptions, which is only human. It’s important to ask questions like: Is it okay to flirt with other people? Is it okay to chat with an ex? Discussing as a partnership is key to a healthy relationship where there’s no confusion as to what constitutes micro-cheating.

To put it simply, what’s a problem to one may not be a problem for someone else. It’s important to be involved in a relationship that prioritizes your emotional needs and makes you feel comfortable. Every relationship is different and too complex to be ruled according to TikTok, and establishing appropriate boundaries before entering a relationship is key to making both parties feel secure.

Amanda Brown is a current national writer for Her Campus, focusing largely on the Entertainment & Culture vertical. She was formerly the Summer 2024 Entertainment & Culture intern, writing about all things pop culture! Beyond Her Campus, Amanda is a sophomore Writing and Rhetoric major with an Honors Interdisciplinary Studies minor at James Madison University. Amanda is the Founder/President/Editorial Director of JMU's Spoon University chapter and the Junior Social Media Manager of JMU's Her Campus chapter. She is also a member of Gamma Phi Beta. In her free time, Amanda loves binge-watching reality TV (especially while drinking iced lattes) and going on long walks (ideally using it as a yap session or listening to music). Amanda loves reading romance novels while listening to Taylor Swift and Gracie Abrams.