There is an endless count of reasons why having a BFF is so beneficial (and necessary) to your well-being. They’re the people you share everything with â including the things that make you, you. And when it comes to exploring your sexuality, the first person you want to talk to is your best friend. Not only to confide in them, but to also share such an important part of who you are.
While some people come out to their best friends in subtle ways over time, thereâs no doubt that the experience of sitting your bestie down and âtelling them the newsâ is a largely-shared experience by queer folk everywhere. Whether the two of you cried together afterward or they hit you with the âIâm not gonna lie to you, I already knewâ (I mean, you canât blame them. Theyâre the closest person to you), this timeless event is one that not only makes the friendships stronger, but also makes us more confident in who we are and who we surround ourselves with.
If you are thinking about coming out to your bestie, or just want to find comfort in other Gen Zersâ coming-out stories, youâve come to the right place. I rounded up five queer Gen Zers to share the exact moment they came out to their best friend â including how they felt and what theyâre up to now.
Zoe*, 24
âWhen I was 16, I told my best friend that I’m gay. We had been friends since middle school, and I felt close enough to her that I knew I could trust her with that information. At the time, I was closeted and really worried about what people would think about me: My parents didnât know and my family has always been conservative and traditional, which added to my anxiety. I knew I liked girls since middle school and I didnât want anyoneâs opinions of me to change.
At the time, I was closeted and really worried about what people would think about me: My parents didnât know and my family has always been conservative and traditional, which added to my anxiety.
Zoe*, 24
One day after basketball practice, we were hanging out in my room watching TV and I just finally felt like being open with her. I just ripped off the bandaid and told her Iâm gay. She looked at me, smiled, and gave me a huge hug. She told me that she loved me for me and it didnât change a thing, which I knew deep down, but it was a huge relief. Weâre still best friends to this day, and Iâm actually going to be her Maid of Honor next year.â
Jill*, 21
âI came out to my best friend two years ago, the day after my 19th birthday. I met her at college: she was my freshman-year roommate and we were inseparable. I had never had such a close friend before and I was so used to journaling my thoughts and feelings, not sharing them with someone else. When we first started hanging out I was so closed off and she actually pushed me out of my comfort zone. I felt more comfortable being open with her, and she had been so open with me about her own personal life.Â
She laughed and scooped another spoonful of ice cream, and when I thought the moment was just going to pass, she said, âGirl, I like girls too.â
Jill*, 21
When I told her, we were sitting down outside one of our favorite ice cream spots and she pointed out a girl with this really cute skirt. I looked at the girl for a moment, and said out loud, âSheâs really cute!â without even realizing that I hadnât come out to her yet. We turned to face each other and made a very unserious face to each other â kind of acknowledging that we both heard what I said. She laughed and scooped another spoonful of ice cream, and when I thought the moment was just going to pass, she said, âGirl, I like girls too.â We laughed out loud, and in that moment I felt so glad I slipped up.â
Dylan*, 23
âIâm bi, and as a guy, I feel like coming across other bi guys is very far-and-few between. Iâve been friends with guys my whole life and even though I always knew I was attracted to both guys and girls, I was always so nervous about any of my guy friends finding out. There was actually a point in time where I just convinced myself I didnât need to tell them and that it didnât matter. It wasnât until I became interested in a guy during my sophomore year of college that I knew it was important that I did.
I was literally shaking from nerves, because not only was I about to come out to them, but I was also going to tell them that Iâd be going out with a guy in the near future.
Dylan*, 23
My two closest friends came to my dorm and while we were playing video games (in our element), I figured it was the best time to just come out with it. I was literally shaking from nerves, because not only was I about to come out to them, but I was also going to tell them that Iâd be going out with a guy in the near future. I knew it would be easiest to just say it â so thatâs what I did. They were quiet for a moment, as Iâm sure they didnât expect me to say that. They looked at me, kindly, and gave me a pat on the back, followed by âThatâs awesome, man. Weâre happy for you.â It was such an unexpectedly chill response that I almost wondered if I told them the right information (I did). Nothing changed between us after that, except for moments when we have a cute waiter or bartender, and they give me a certain look that begs the question, âDo you like him?â Funnily enough, theyâre actually pretty good at picking out my type now.â
Victoria*, 22
âMy best friend and I grew up together. We met in the fourth grade and stayed glued to each othersâ sides ever since. When I was about 15, I started questioning my sexuality. My best friend and I have always shared everything with each other, so I knew it was something she was going to have to know about at some point.
One day, after seeing a movie at the theater, we were talking about our celebrity crushes. She named off her top three (of course, they were all guys) and when it was my turn, I figured it was time to just tell her.
Victoria*, 22
One day, after seeing a movie at the theater, we were talking about our celebrity crushes. She named off her top three (of course, they were all guys) and when it was my turn, I figured it was time to just tell her. I took the opportunity and came out to her, right then and there, when we were walking out of the movies. I started off with something along the lines of, ‘Before I answer, I have something to tell you. I like girls.’ Turns out, she kind of already had a feeling (which makes some sense, since we have been friends for most of our childhoods). She gave me a hug and comforted me, and also made sure to let me know that it doesnât change a thing about our friendship. I didnât realize how much I had been thinking about it, because afterwards, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. I was so relieved.â
Jason*, 19
âI didnât come to terms with my sexuality until somewhat recently. I was closeted for most of my school life â all through middle school and high school. Currently, I have a year of college under my belt and it’s the first time in my life I feel comfortable enough to embrace who I really am. I have a solid group of three people I consider to be my best friends, and one night, when we were all hanging out at one of my friendsâ apartments, I decided to be open and tell them.
It felt really good to be able to confide in them and not feel judged, especially because I had never had such close friends before.
Jason*, 19
I didnât want to make it a big deal and I made sure they knew that, but they were still so thankful that I told them and were glad I felt comfortable enough to be so open with them. It felt really good to be able to confide in them and not feel judged, especially because I had never had such close friends before. It was a really special moment, and I donât think Iâd be as comfortable with my sexuality if it wasnât for their support.â
Times where you need somebody to lean on, confide in, or just simply rant to, having a close friend that is there for you no matter what is something everybody â especially queer folk â deserves. Whether youâre ready to come out to your best friend, or youâre not quite sure if itâs time yet, rest assured that you are always entitled to that support and unconditional love that best friends provide. Who you are deserves to be accepted and celebrated â and donât forget that!