Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
So, I’ll just say it: I’m a college virgin. But not the “waiting-til-I’m-married-sex-is-impure” kind of virgin. Quite the opposite. I’ve thought about sex a lot and have definitely had some steamy hook-ups. It’s just that I’ve been waiting for a guy I trust and want to be with before having sex, and I haven’t given it up to a guy I’ve been with yet because things didn’t work out or it didn’t feel right. But recently I started hooking up with a guy who I find very sweet and who I feel totally comfortable with. He’s a guy (and he told me in the middle of a conversation that he’s not a virgin) so I can tell he would be willing to go further with me, but he’s held back if I wanted to stop which is respectful and great. Thing is: will he freak out if I tell him I’m a virgin? Be brutally honest. I know it would be wrong not to tell him and then attempt to have sex with him, but I’m afraid it will scare him away if I tell him. Help? How do you tell that to a guy you like? – Tough to Tell Him at Temple
Tough to Tell,
I know it may seem difficult to tell this guy you are a virgin but it is paramount you remember one thing: you are, like you said, a college virgin, you are not a 40-year-old virgin. According to HC’s Ultimate College Girl Survey, at least 41 percent of college women are virgins! Are you kidding me? I would have expected that number to be closer to 25 percent. There are more girls just like you than you think!
It is important to know that a lot of people go to college with their v-card intact, even guys and girls whom you’d think would for sure have lost it during high school.
There is so much talk in high school about sex that just simply isn’t true. And no matter how many times high school and young college students hear it, it’s simply difficult for them to believe when they see all the lovey-dovey couples on campus. But the survey numbers should give you more confidence that this guy won’t freak out if you tell him. After all, you certainly are not the only college virgin out there.
And if you are concerned more about him having more experience, well, just because he isn’t a virgin doesn’t make him crazy experienced. People make the amount of sexual experience out to be a bigger deal than it needs to be. If he starts acting any different around you because you told him, then he’s not worth your time.