Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
So, I went to this party and met a guy. We were both pretty drunk. We talked for a while and ended up making out for a bit. We exchanged numbers before we left. The thing is, I’m not usually the random hook-up kind of person, this was a fluke sort of night. Should I text him? How long is appropriate to wait? Or should I just wait for him to text me? – Tipsy at Temple
Tipsy,
Many of us text our love interest within hours or even minutes of a date or hook-up (well, at least I have and it wasn’t received poorly, she was actually quite flattered). The concept of having to wait ’til the next day to call someone pre-dates the invention of texting. This is the 21st century and girls should feel free to break the dating rule that they can’t text a guy first. We guys like not having to initiate conversation, it takes the pressure off of us.
The only thing I would advise is if you don’t hear back from your first text, at least wait 24 hours before trying again. There’s a fine line between being eager and being a five-stage clinger. But the very first time you text, call, or Facebook a guy after hooking up with them, it truly doesn’t matter how soon you do it. After all, if I exchange numbers with a girl and she texts me later that night, I’m ecstatic because it means she’s still thinking about me and presumably had a good time.
As for not being the random hook-up type of person, you’ll need to make it clear to the guy that you’re interested in something more. Even simply telling him exactly what you just told me: that random hook-ups are not something you normally do. Mention that despite it not being something you normally do, you still had a good time and want to see him again. If he reciprocates and you meet up with him, I would avoid hooking up again for a few dates. If he’s looking for a relationship he will stick around. If he just wants to hook up, he will probably bolt rather quickly.