Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
I’m in my first year of college and have managed to become friends with two guys. We have every class together, as it is a small program. Lately, I’ve been wondering if maybe the other guys in class might think I have something going on with one of my friends. We sit next to each other every day, have been called out for laughing with each other during class (oops!), and he lent me his sweater in class before when I was chilly. He’s a cute guy, but we really are just friends (he has a girlfriend), and I think he might be interfering a bit with my chances with some of the other guys in class. They might be hesitant to approach me if they think I’m involved with another guy right? Any way to let my friend know he’s sorta cramping my style? – Friendly at FAMU
Friendly,
Yes, a lot of guys will be hesitant to go up to you if you’re always with the same male companions. It is just the nature of the beast. Nobody wants to be rejected and if the girl appears unavailable, then chances are some guys won’t even bother.
We hear all the time that girls like a guy with confidence but (newsflash, ladies), confidence doesn’t grow on trees. Plus, the whole notion of girls liking bad boys doesn’t help the morale of the nice fellas out there.
Perhaps looking for a guy with a high level of confidence might not be the way to go. Where does he get all that confidence from? Is he what we call a player?
And as for letting your friend know about how you feel, well, I fail to understand your hesitation. Do you think it would be awkward to tell him this? I don’t know why it would awkward at all. You say he has a girlfriend so he clearly isn’t looking to date you, so I don’t see why he wouldn’t totally understand where you’re coming from and be totally fine giving you your space.
Just be honest with your friend, he ought to be fine letting you sit (and chat it up) with other classmates.