Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
Everyone is always saying how it is okay to sleep around in college. I am a virgin still, and I get a lot of cr*p for it. Should I just go nuts and sleep around? Or do guys still value the fact that a girl is a virgin? – V-Card Holder at Vanderbilt
V-Card Holder,
In my eyes, Joe Schmo is absolute scum if he doesn’t want to date you just because you’re still a virgin.Â
First of all, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin in college. And if a guy has the major hots for you, he should be (if anything) turned on by the fact that you’re still a virgin. If given the opportunity to take your virginity, he should feel special and flattered to be the first. Second of all, while it is possible to be a virgin and have an STD, being a virgin essentially means you are guaranteed to be “pure” and the risk of contracting anything from you is extremely low.
Ergo, while I personally have never taken someone’s virginity, I would certainly have a positive reaction to finding out that a girl with whom I was romantically involved has remained a virgin. To me, it means that I beat out every other guy for her affections. In other words, it’s a big self-esteem booster and means that she really must like me.
The only caveat from my perspective would be that she doesn’t make me wait too long for sex. Just being honest, but I would expect to get to go “all the way” with my girlfriend after three months of exclusively dating.
Sex is not multi-variable Calculus. Taking someone’s virginity and making the sex enjoyable for both parties is nowhere near the difficulty level of getting someone to understand derivatives.
So to answer your questions: No, I don’t suggest going nuts and sleeping around, and yes lots of guys do value the fact that girl is still a virgin. Simply stated, the reputation for being a “sl*t” in “guy world” is much worse than being known as a virgin.
While there are clearly some guys and gals out there who are turned off by the thought of dating a virgin, I cannot believe this group to be anywhere near the majority of college students.
When it comes to sex, do what makes you happy. If you want to lose your v-card just to lose it, than go for it. If you want to wait until you meet a guy that’s interested in a relationship with you, then do that. Sex is what you make of it. It’s 100 percent normal to make your first time a big deal (with a boyfriend) but it’s also a 100 percent normal to hook-up with that cutie from the dorms whom you barely know, if that’s what makes you happy.  Â
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