We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.
After starting college, a friend introduced me to a guy who happened to be in his final year of my college. At first, he seemed really nice and friendly, and all of a sudden, he was dead flirty and sent me some naughty pictures. I didn’t stop myself from the flirting, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be nothing more until he started asking to turn up to my dorm room. I didn’t mind, and I actually enjoyed his company and we seemed to have a lot in common, however, he did start to show affection soon by simple gestures like cuddling me, holding my hands, eye contact and other affectionate displays of body language. However, as soon as he gets home, he would be a different person and would suggest we do sexual activities the next time we meet. Is he really into me or does he just want sex? –Sexting at Southern Miss
Southern,
Let me save you a lot of time: The dude just wants sex. He’s playing a dangerous game by being super flirty and nice; it’s his way of trying to bait you into liking him enough to sleep with him. And when he does — after he’s caught his prize fish — he’ll throw you back into the ocean like I’m sure he’s done with other women.
It’s easy to trick someone into thinking you have a lot of things in common. “My favorite color is blue!” is met with “Oh yeah, mine too!” (Even though his favorite color is actually red). It’s easy to turn up the “nice factor” to get someone to see you as something you’re not (I would know — I’ve done it before).
This leaves you with two options: One, realize that all you’re going to get out of this is sex — which could be great or it could be mediocre, who knows? Take that for what it is, hook up with him and maybe negotiate a FWB type of thing. However, if you’re developing feelings for this guy, going through with a FWB deal is a potentially explosive situation. If you do in fact have feelings for him, it’s better to pull back and cut him off completely than wait around and hope for things to change.
Or two, ditch the loser if a casual encounter is something you’re just not looking for right now. Honestly, what kind of guy sends unwarranted naughty pictures and sexts? That just seems tasteless to me. It isn’t a sign of someone that genuinely likes you for you, you know?
Once you figure out which option you want to pursue, do it and do it with no regrets. Commit to a casual hookup or commit to ditching someone that honestly sounds like kind of a creeper. So while I’ve offered up bits of advice for certain situations, here’s my final ruling: Ditch him. Casual sex isn’t worth dealing with a two-faced sleaze.