There’s this guy who I’ve been hooking up with for a while. I always thought he was one of the nice guys, but he refuses to hook up unless he’s drunk. Recently, we made a deal that he’d help me with homework if I give him weekly sex, but I feel like all he wants is sex — not me. I don’t want anything serious with this guy, but my ego is being bruised when he only comes over to “fulfill the deal.” I just don’t know what to do with him ‘cause even though I like hanging out with him, he really bruises my ego. – Not Knowing in NY
NY,
I honestly don’t know what you expected from him. You’re trading sex for goods. You literally put yourself in this position by agreeing to these terms. You don’t like it? End it.
I’m just confused as to why this is hurting your feelings unless you do actually want something more with him. You made a deal — homework help for sex. What I think you’re getting confused over is that guys don’t have to want the girl in order to want sex. I know that I’ve hooked up with a girl just because I wanted to get laid. Sex is human nature and it doesn’t always require this emotional connection that some people think it needs to have.
If it’s bruising your ego, put an end to it. You two aren’t dating, you don’t have any real connection with him and is it really going to be the end of the world if you decide you don’t want his version of tutoring anymore?
This is one of those times that “getting out” should be relatively easy. End the deal. If you don’t like the situation, explain that you don’t want to do this anymore and find an actual tutor.