If you ever find yourself wondering what could possibly be going through a guy’s head, look no further. Our Real Live College Guy Jake will give you the answers to your most burning questions about love, relationships and the stupid things that guys sometimes (okay, a lot of times) do and say. Read on to uncover truths that men have been guarding for centuries (and to find out whether or not he thinks wearing a belt over a T-shirt is stupid).
I like this guy whom I have known for about three years now. He goes to school in CT, and I am in RI (we’re both from the greater Los Angeles area). We see each other about twice a year to catch up, hang out and, well, see each other. When we are together, we laugh, smile and have a great time. We usually spend more than a couple of hours together (weekend overnight trips are involved). He is a gentleman: walking on the edge of the sidewalk, paying for the bill (even though I offer to pay or give him half of the money, he finds a way to return it), opening the door for me, letting me sleep on his bed, etc. We usually steal glances at each other and quickly look away once we get caught and giggle and do it all over again. But once we go back to our separate lives, we lose contact. I email him, he replies, and he says something that really reminds me why I like him. I know that he does not have a girlfriend, but I am not sure if he likes me back. How do I figure it out?
– Bewildered at Brown
There are several ways to find out if a guy likes you. One way is to ask. Others include hacking his cellphone, applying pressure to his friends and getting the CIA involved. But before you do any of that, try to read the situation. In this case, the best thing to do is follow your instincts. From what you’ve written, it sounds as though you knew the answer to your question before you even asked it and are looking for some reinforcement. But because I haven’t been following the two of you around for the past couple years (or at least I can’t legally acknowledge that I have), I can’t give you that reinforcement. But he can.
If your instincts tell you that there is something in his look when the two of you lock eyes, go on that – instincts are never wrong (and if they are, you can’t blame yourself for trying). If he is buying your meals and letting you sleep on his bed (I was going to add walking on the edge of the sidewalk, but then I remembered that you don’t have to have a crush on someone to not want them to get hit by a car), then the chances are he shares your feelings – even though I’m not sure why he has yet to make a direct move. Maybe he’s too shy to make the first move, or maybe he thinks you aren’t into him or aren’t interested in a long-distance relationship. Whatever the reason, one of you is going to have to bite the bullet and make the first move, and it might as well be you (I’m a huge proponent of girls making the first move, but that’s for another column). I’m sure you’ll know right away if the chemistry between the two of you is real, and if so, you’ll be heavily rewarded for being the one to test the waters. So the next time you’re both home (hopefully it’s this summer), take advantage of the opportunity to see him and just go for it. And be spontaneous. I can’t stress that enough. In this situation, any attempt to rationalize or discuss the matter ahead of time could very well put out the flame.
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