If you ever find yourself wondering what could possibly be going through a guy’s head, look no further. Our Real Live College Guy Jake will give you the answers to your most burning questions about love, relationships and the stupid things that guys sometimes (okay, a lot of times) do and say. Read on to uncover truths that men have been guarding for centuries (and to find out whether or not he thinks wearing a belt over a T-shirt is stupid).
So I met this guy during my college orientation, during which he gave everyone his name and said to friend request him. After some hardcore flirting, I figured he must be kind of into me. A few weeks later, I friend requested him and messaged him saying, “Hi, how are things going? You still remember me, right?” and he never replied. I’m afraid come move-in time, I am going to see him on campus and things are going to be awkward. Was I misreading his “flirting,” and should I have not messaged him at all? He went out of his way to constantly talk to me and tell me things like my ID picture was good and for me to smile more … things of that sort.
– Confused at Carolina
Things will only be awkward if you make them awkward. There is no reason to let anything that takes place in the virtual world affect the way you act in the physical world – especially with someone you hardly even know. As far as this guy goes, I wouldn’t overthink it. Although it sounds as though he was probably flirting with you by talking to you and telling you he liked your smile, he could have just been a friendly guy. And if he was flirting with you, it sounds as though you weren’t the only one. Anyone who makes an announcement for everyone to friend request him on Facebook probably has questionable motives.
It’s not a big deal that you messaged him – for all he knows, you’re just another friendly person. To be honest, he probably doesn’t even remember that you messaged him, so if you run into him on campus, just act like it’s no big deal and don’t bring it up in conversation. Just don’t initiate the conversation with him – you would only be more embarrassed if you said hi and he didn’t remember you. Wait for him to talk to you, be polite, ask him how school is going, and then be on your way. There will be plenty of guys at your school who will flirt with you because they like you, not because they flirt with anything that has legs and a pretty smile.
In fact, you will meet so many guys when you get to college that this one will quickly fade into the background. More importantly, you will encounter an unprecedented number of awkward situations your freshman year – it’s part of the experience, and everyone will look back and laugh.
My advice would be to avoid making connections on Facebook before you actually get to school and meet these people in person (click here for more advice on pre-college Facebook etiquette). If you want to meet up with someone you’ve found on Facebook who lives in your area and is going to your school, that’s one thing. But to just make virtual connections with people, without getting to know them in person, just complicates a transition to college life that is already complicated. If you spend too much time peering into the lives of your future classmates on Facebook, you’re only going to gather inaccurate impressions and form unrealistic expectations for people. So enjoy your summer and wait for the big day before you start forming relationships (but that’s just me – I’m old-fashioned).