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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Get Your Dose Of Sex Positivity With These 6 Reads

It seems that people fear sex and its influence more and more each day. We’ve heard that there is less sex in our movies, less honest and vulnerable discussions about sex in the classroom, and less empowering legislation that seeks to regulate our bodies rather than protect them. Sex, while not everyone’s cup of tea, is a facet of our society that should not be tucked away and hidden but instead explored and dissected for those who plan to engage in it or those who just want to be educated and informed. 

These books, ranging from self-help to essays to fiction, unapologetically cover the topics of erotica and desire as means of fulfillment, power, and understanding. Written by those familiar with the role intersectionality should play in feminism, these reads will leave college students not only more knowledgeable but feeling seen and represented by what sex positivity can look like. 

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Simply calling this landmark collection “Sex-positive” would be an understatement. Lorde, a prolific writer, and womanist, sought to bring attention to intersectionality. One text in particular in Sister Outsider, titled “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power,” profoundly touches upon acting against oppression by forcing us to be knowledgeable in vulnerability and honesty. Lorde writes to distinguish the erotic from the pornographic: “When I speak of the erotic, then, I speak of it as an assertion of the lifeforce of women; of that creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our loving, our work, our lives.” 

Amazon, $15

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

Originally published in 2015, author Nagoski penned the self-help book due to her experience as a sex educator since the mid-90s. The book specifically takes a look at women’s sexuality, including research on concepts including emotional and cultural context, arousal, and anatomy. The professor of my partner’s human sexuality class actually recommended this book to students during a lecture, earning it a spot on our TBR. 

Amazon, $23

She Found It at the Movies: Women Writers on Sex, Desire, and Cinema Edited by Christina Newland

This was the first film analysis book I ever purchased for myself, and I couldn’t be prouder. Film critic Christina Newland compiles the work from multiple different writers, breaking the text into sections including the female gaze and fantasy and danger. These writers discuss the subversive ways in which they identified their arousals and desires in media that may not have actually been written for them. To quote Newland, “Put simply, women’s desires and sexual needs are marginalized in movies because they are in real life. Yet cinema offers us the chance to bring women’s roles as sexual beings, moviegoers, and creators of cinema into sharper focus.” These texts put desire back in the hands of those who are often criticized for expressing it.

Amazon, $17

Love War Stories by Ivelisse Rodriguez 

Transitioning to fiction, this collection tells the story of different Puerto Rican women and their expressions of love and loss. While the avenues of love in these characters’ lives may not be perfect or fully realized, the stories explore the intense passion of these women who are in touch with their desires and needs. In the title story, a college student is our protagonist who, despite heartbreak, finds steadfastness in the possibility of love. This is Ivelisse RodrĂ­guez’s debut short story collection, and she began writing it many years ago while still in graduate school.

Amazon, $12

When Angels Speak of Love by bell hooks

The word “love” is forever tied to the name bell hooks, as she wrote extensively on the subject from feminine and masculine perspectives. While her nonfiction texts on the subject are seminal, this poetry collection is described as alluring and seductive in its prose. It is considered an accessible text to those who may not be familiar with reading poetry while still covering a range of ideals outside of romance. Becoming familiar with her notes on love in this collection may also be a good primer for her longer nonfiction texts on the subject. 

Amazon, $11

Loose Woman: Poems by Sandra Cisneros

An inspiration to previously mentioned author Ivelisse Rodriguez, Cisneros’s poetry collection takes a frankness when approaching the subject of women’s desire. Her use of language is outspoken and maybe even crude to those who may not be used to hearing such rawness in writing, but it is what makes the collection as feminist and touching as it is. While there are several erotic poems in the collection, there is some variety as well, and Cisneros also includes some Spanish throughout the text, particularly empowering for other Latinx people seeking unabashed insight into shared ideals of love and sex. 

Amazon, $14

In a time where sex is being policed rather than respected, these books can either be appreciated loudly, read in public spaces without shame, or in private to offer moments of reflection and peace. They may not all be easy reads, but college is a time about searching, exposing yourself to new ideas, or helping mold ones you may already have. Being honest about how emotions and desires make us stronger and more open to connection and reading about these subjects can embolden us to do so. 

Ariana Martinez (they/them) is a Florida-based freelance writer and filmmaker currently pursuing a degree in cinema studies. Their work gravitates toward explorations of gender and sexuality in film and T.V., and they have a Youtube channel and website, Awake in the A.M., dedicated to film analysis. In their free time, they enjoy traveling and yelling at the television with their friends.