Many people will argue that guys are “just like us.” I agree with that statement, besides the fact they can eat whatever they want and not gain weight, spend hours in front of the TV playing video games, and avoid emotional attachment in any and all situations. There are certain times in my life when I truly believe the notion that guys are from Mars and girls are from Venus; for instance, when the little boy I babysit tells me that masquerade (mascara) is only for Gothic people, or when my best friend’s boyfriend accuses her of being an alien when she wears her sticky boobs under a backless dress. We spend hundreds of dollars on things like manicures, makeup and highlights, while it only takes guys a mere ten minutes to get ready. To guys, girls will always be a foreign concept.
The following are questions I believed most every girl could answer in a heartbeat. I asked them to three college guys, Tom, Evan and Matthew, and recorded their answers below. Tom is the ultimate frat boy. He grew up as an only child and lives in a frat mansion with over thirty of his bros at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. When he’s not golfing, Tom enjoys a good happy hour on Friday afternoons. Evan, 20, currently living in Los Angeles, CA, grew up with several girlfriends and an older sister. He is an aspiring talent agent and is currently interning in California. Matthew, a sophomore at the University of Iowa, has had a girlfriend for two years. He plays intramural basketball and loves the Chicago Bulls.
If you don’t believe we’re living on different planets, keep reading. Who knew clueless could be so cute?
How much does a manicure cost?
She said: $15-20
He said: 50 bucks
What job does Carrie Bradshaw have in Sex and the City?
She said: Writer
He said: Which one is Carrie Bradshaw? Is she a housewife?
What is a bandeau?
She said: A type of strapless bra
He said: A music instrument
Who is Noah Calhoun?
She said: Main character in The Notebook
He said: A singer
How much does a pair of designer jeans cost?
She said: $150-200
He said: $100
How can you distinguish a pair Christian Louboutin heels from other heels?
She said: Red on the bottom of the shoe
He said: They have LB’s on them
Who is Hank Baskett married to?
She said: Kendra Wilkinson
He said: Hank Baskett? That really sh***y wide receiver? Jessica Alba.
Who are the two main female characters in Gossip Girl?
She said: Blair and Serena
He said: Shelby and Miranda
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What show does Heidi Klum host on Lifetime?
She said: Project Runway
He said: Desperate Housewives
Name one Spice Girl.
She said: Scary Spice
He said: Salty Spice
How long does a period last?
She said: Three to five days
He said: A week
What’s a Hanky Panky™?
She said: Underwear
He said: A thong?*
*(How surprising—they can recognize underwear!)
What are essie™ and OPI™ brands of?
She said: Nail polish
He said: Shoes
What’s a Bobbi Brown™ shimmer brick used for?
She said: Can be used for eye shadow or on your cheeks
He said: Cleaning your shoes
How long is the maximum time you can go tanning for?
She said: 20 minutes
He said: 30 minutes
Who is the main character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said: Audrey Hepburn
He said: Tiffany
Who’s the spokesperson for smartwater™?
She said: Jennifer Aniston
He said: Stephen Hawking
What fruit do girls put in their hair in the summer to lighten it?
She said: Lemon
He said: Appl–no. That’s just dumb. Lime or Lemon.
Most guys seem to have their heads in the clouds when it comes to the world of girls. Next time you’re wondering “wtf” is up with the way he texts, or why he hasn’t noticed your new shoes, remember how clueless and careless guys are when it comes to the things we consider common sense. We can all take a lesson from Tim, Evan and Matthew. It’s not your Tory Burch wedges or your Chloé satchel that guys are interested in—it’s YOU!
Sources: Three very clueless college boys