Spring break: a sunny week filled with drinks, friends and flirty guys. If youâre looking to have a little fun this spring break but donât want to say goodbye to your hottie once the week comes to an end, youâre in the right place. If you play your cards right, you could turn your spring break fling into a relationship in no time. We talked to Dr. Ish Major, board-certified psychiatrist and author of Little White Whys to give you a step-by-step guide on how to turn a spring break hook-up into a relationship, if youâre really falling for your fling. Get ready for an awesome breakâand potential new partner!
Step 1: Make your intentions clear
If you go into spring break knowing you want a relationship out of it, be sure your hook-up is on the same page. Try saying something like, âI canât wait to hang out when we get back!â or, âItâs awesome that we live so close at home.â If he knows you arenât just looking for a hook-up, he can either let you know it isnât going to work or keep his sights set on you. Letting him know how you feel up front will prevent heartbreak or potential awkwardness later on.
âI think the first [and] most important step is to be honest with each other about whether [a relationship] is something you both want to pursue,â Dr. Major says. âWhile youâre in the moment, it might be hard to figure that out, but shortly after, once some of the party dust has settled just a bit, that can be a conversation that you both have. The key part is that you both agree to pursue it.â
Dr. Major also mentions that your fling may not be looking for the same thing as you: âKeep in mind, it is spring break, and he may not be interested in anything beyond hooking up today or tonight or for the rest of the trip, so an idea like that may turn him off. But this is about you feeling good about whatâs happening, so if a relationship is what youâre looking for then claim that, stand in that dream and donât back down from it.â
Step 2: Get to know each other
The atmosphere of spring break (read: so many shirtless men and margaritas) can make it hard to focus on reality. If youâre serious about turning your fling into a relationship, itâs crucial to be sure you really know the person. Your crush may seem like your perfect match amidst all the drinks and fun, but outside of spring break, he or she could be totally different. âGetting an idea of where heâs headed or wants to go in life will give you a really good sense of how well your lives will mesh together once your back home,â Dr. Major says. Try going out to dinnerâjust the two of youâto see how much you have in common. If you really know what youâre getting into and still feel the same way about him or her, you can take the next step in becoming a real thing.
âPeople are often a lot âdifferentâ when theyâre on vacation than when theyâre at home in their normal routine,â Dr. Major adds. âSo the person you met on spring break may not be the person he is when heâs in his natural environment. Thatâs where the âgetting to know each otherâ on a deeper level beyond the break comes into play. The sooner you can ask some deeper questions and have more meaningful conversations, the sooner youâll be able to figure that out.â
If the person youâre with is the guy who hasnât worn a shirt all weekend, always has a Natty Light in hand and is constantly flirting with other people, it should be pretty clear that he or she isnât S.O. material. Find someone who you have a lot in common with and like for their personality, not their abs.
Step 3: Have âthe talkâ
If the end of spring break is rolling around and youâre still crazy about your crush, you two should have a serious talk about whatâs next. If youâre both on the same page about wanting to continue the relationship, decide when youâll see each other next. If you go to school close to one another (or even at the same school), it shouldnât be hard to schedule a date or time to hang out. If you donât go to school near one another, you have to be sure youâre ready for the commitment of a long-distance relationship.
So, how do you approach the conversation? Dr. Major suggests: âYou can say something like, âWow, Iâm having such a really great time with you. I really donât want this feeling to end. I know it might be hard, but I wish there was a way to keep this going,â then wait for a response. That way, youâve made it okay and not awkward to talk about the elephant in the room. You may or may not get the response you were looking for, but at least you can feel good about being brave enough to go for it!â
He also says, âItâs a spring break fling, so chances are youâre probably not from the same place, which means anything long-term may have to be long-distance for a while. If thatâs the case, then you both have to be willing to put in that effort.â
Be sure to have this talk before spring break ends so you arenât left with any confusion or misunderstandings. Having closure will leave you feeling confident about returning to normal life without worrying about where you and your spring break fling stand.
Step 4: Stay connected
Communication is key in any relationship, and it will be the deciding factor in whether or not your spring break fling will last. Continue talking to your guy after break and make sure you both still feel the same way once normal life has resumed. If you keep in touch and can see one another, your relationship is off to a good start. If thereâs a lack of communication and you arenât on the same page, things may begin to go downhill.
Try Dr. Majorâs tips for staying connected beyond the break:
- Keep in frequent contact via text/Skype/calls.
- Set a definite date to see each other again soon.
- Talk about the fun you had over break and see if there were some things that they saw/heard/did that you didnât. Share different perspectives of that shared experience.
- Talk about the people you know and the places youâve gone. Chances are you may have some people/places and things in common that you didnât expect!
- Give each other a glimpse into your âreal worldsâ and your real-world selves. Spring break is a different setting; now itâs time to get to know each other in your natural settings in the midst of your day-to-day routines and see if the chemistry is still there.
If you arenât ready to say goodbye to your fling once spring break comes to an end, follow our guide and you can hopefully turn it into a relationship. If your feelings are as strong as you think they are, youâll be able work on transitioning from spring break to normal life. Be yourself and youâre bound to find the hottie of your dreams. Good luck, collegiettes!
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