The holidays are upon us: bags are packed, trips are booked, families are about to be reunited, high school friends are waiting to hear all about your semester, and, for some of us, hometown lovers await, too. The latter can trigger a real mix of emotions no matter how recent the flame is or how distantly in the past the romance is, and perhaps nobody can describe those feelings better than Taylor Swift, as proven in the lyrics of “‘tis the damn season.” Their meaning may not be something that the songstress has firsthand experience with (while she tends to take inspiration from her own life for her discography, she’s made it clear that she let her imagination run wild for evermore, as well as its predecessor, folklore) plenty of us can relate to the meaning of “‘tis the damn season’s” lyrics. It’s all about missed opportunities, exploring what happens after the narrator runs into an old lover after returning home to her parents’ house during the holidays, and all of the tumultuous feelings that come with it.
“[The first love you lost is] something you’ll never forget,” Thea*, 20, tells Her Campus. Despite the pain, she’s grateful to have had a love that her heart hurts for. “[“‘tis the damn season”] helps me feel vulnerable while I try to heal because sometimes you just need to allow yourself to feel the pain to feel better later.” Wow, does Taylor Swift have access to everyone’s diaries? It’s more likely than you think! I talked to three other people, too, who love to reminisce to the song. Here’s what the lyrics of “‘tis the damn season” mean to them, as former participants in a hometown love affair.
“‘tis the damn season” details a throwback, winter break affair between the narrator and a former love interest while the narrator spends time in her hometown. She reminisces about the time they were together and wonders where the two may have ended up if they’d taken a different path alongside each other. He may be the one that got away.
If I wanted to know who you were hanging with While I was gone I would have asked you It's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass But I felt it when I passed you There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me But if it's all the same to you It's the same to me
From the start, the energy between the two characters is described as “cold.” Though their relationship is over, the narrator doesn’t have any interest in hearing about her ex’s other relationships, leading the listener to believe that there are unresolved issues between the two.
Dominique, 23, can relate. She went to college in the U.S., but she’s from Honduras. When she moved, she left her ex-boyfriend — who she’d been with for five years — behind. “Things didn’t work out because, at that time, we were really immature,” she tells Her Campus. The timing wasn’t right for who they were back then, but she remembers how she felt every time she went back to visit and saw him with someone else. “I had a knot in my throat,” she shares.
After all, the end of a relationship doesn’t equate to the end of your feelings. The time may not be right, but it doesn’t mean the person isn’t.
So we could call it even You could call me babe for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm stayin' at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you in my hometown
The tension between the characters doesn’t last long; in the chorus, the narrator welcomes the possibility of temporarily rekindling their romance with the lyrics, “You could call me babe for the weekend.” The relationship may be over, but the two can briefly relive their better days together, pretending that things had ended differently — or not at all.
This line is Dominique’s favorite. Even though she doesn’t believe their relationship was what was suitable for her in the long run, it was easy to fall back into old habits — and feelings — whenever she was back home.
I parkеd my car right between the Methodist And thе school that used to be ours The holidays linger like bad perfume You can run, but only so far I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me
There’s a recollection of that tension in the next verse as the narrator compares the holiday season to a bad perfume: something you try to escape but will always catch hints of. But it dissipates quickly once again: though she can’t forget how he just watched her go, she’s willing to bury their separation in the past if he is.
The reminiscing on a relationship that didn’t work out — especially for reasons that aren’t disclosed — really strikes a chord for Dominique. It doesn’t seem as though the collapse of the song’s relationship was due to a lack of love or affection, which is something that she’s all too familiar with. “[My ex-boyfriend] knows when I’m sad just by the way that I write or talk. He truly has a heart of gold,” she says. And still, she can’t escape the feelings she still harbors for him, especially when she’s home, surrounded by things that remind her of him.
We could call it even You could call me babe for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm stayin' at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out We could just ride around And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you in my hometown
When a relationship ends for amicable enough reasons, like the stress of long distance, it’s easy to fall back into old desires — especially when you’re back in the place you were together or standing in front of each other again. There’s no animosity, just good memories and the fantasy of what life might be like if you were still together.
Thea started dating her ex-boyfriend just before their sophomore year of high school. They basically grew up together, playing major roles in each other’s lives until their breakup, but when it came time to leave for college, they found long-distance to be too complicated. They still see each other each time they’re home, though. “It’d be friendly, but there was always this look in our eyes where we knew there were still feelings deep down,” Thea tells Her Campus. She always thinks about that road not taken when they’re together again.
“He knows me better than I know myself, and vice versa. To grow up together and see each other go through tough times — you learn a lot about a person. I think there’s something special about knowing someone so intimately that it hurts when you become strangers again,” she adds.
For Thea, every moment with him counted. They could just be riding around aimlessly, nothing special; being in his presence was enough.
Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends Who'll write books about me, if I ever make it And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin' And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own To leave the warmest bed I've ever known We could call it even Even though I'm leavin' And I'll be yours for the weekend 'Tis the damn season
The next verse suggests that the narrator’s ex is the one person who will always be able to just know what’s going on with her, and the one person she’ll always pine after, even though it seems like he doesn’t feel the same. She wants more from him than he’ll ask, and even though she knows it’ll only hurt her, she continues to wish for more than she can have as she prepares to leave him behind again.
“This song is kind of my autobiography,” Erin*, 21, tells Her Campus. Just like the imaginary character in the song, she also left her hometown to move to L.A. She always rekindled her romance with her high school boyfriend whenever she visited. “I was dating this boy since my sophomore year of high school, but we broke up when we went to college. I was moving across the country — from a tiny town in Pennsylvania to southern California — so it didn’t seem realistic to stay together.”
But he knows her better than anyone. Every time she set foot back in her hometown, those feelings came rushing back when they hooked up. When she became a person even she didn’t like, he pointed it out. “He knows every inch of my mind and can see right through me. When I moved and changed so much, he was one of the only people that called me out on it, and it pissed me off because, when it comes to me, he’s almost always right.”
Phoebe*, 23, believes that the cold weather makes people want “to cuddle up to someone familiar.” And who wants to get to know someone, or go on dates, when it’s miserable outside? She recalls texting one of her hometown friends prior to winter break one year, hoping it’d turn romantic. “I always had a crush on him in high school, but he always had a girlfriend, so when I found out he was single I took it as my chance to slide in. I think it could’ve worked out if I didn’t have to move back to New York for school,” she tells Her Campus. “There’s always that urge to hit up ex-partners or old flings while you’re bored sitting in your childhood bedroom.”
Phoebe’s relationship, though, was a one-time thing, and she doesn’t believe she’ll be going back to him this winter break. “It was a one-time fling, although we were seeing each other pretty steadily over that one break.”
We could call it even You could call me babe for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm stayin' at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out We could just ride around And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you in my hometown It always leads to you in my hometown
But Erin’s relationship with her ex-boyfriend was so special that they decided to see where the road not taken led, and they’re currently together again. We might only ever be able to imagine what happens to the characters in the song (unless Ms. Swift graciously serves up ’tis the damn season: The Short Film), but here’s hoping for a happy ending just like Erin’s.
*Name has been changed