When you’re scrolling and scrolling through social media, things can sneak up on you in a matter of seconds. There could be a jumpscare video that you weren’t expecting. Another might announce the release of your favorite singer’s new album. Maybe a friend from high school has posted for the first time in forever. But nothing can prepare you for when your ex goes IG official and hard launches their new partner.
It’s shocking, of course, to see someone you used to be with now be with someone completely different. In that moment, you might feel a rush of emotions: confusion, hurt, jealousy. It’s perfectly normal. But remember, your worth isn’t tied to your past relationships, and much less defined by a relationship status online. You are strong, resilient, and capable of so much more than you realize.
Finding out that your ex has gone Instagram official with someone new can absolutely be a tough battle. But don’t worry, because you’re not alone in this. Here are 10 tips to help you navigate this situation with confidence and grace.
- Pause and breathe
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Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the post. It’s totally fair to have an initial reaction flooded with so many overwhelming emotions. Remember to take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to process. It’s very important to self-check and acknowledge your feelings without judgment. It’s alright to feel angry, hurt, or sad.
- Avoid the Insta-Stalk
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Bestie, believe me. I know this might have been how we got here in the first place, but you need to start resisting the urge. Obvi, it is better said than done to stop continuously checking their profile, but you need to because it will only prolong your pain, trust me. My ex is unfollowed and removed from my account, and you should do the same. And it’s perfectly fine to mute or unfollow your ex and their new partner. Out of sight, out of mind.
- Talk to Your Friends
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I literally cannot emphasize this enough: your besties are your best support system. It’s totally okay to lean into your closest friends at this dire time. Venting to them can provide emotional relief. Plus, they can offer you some positive distractions, whether that is planning a fun night out or a chill night in with your friends to keep your mind off things.
- Self-Care Solutions
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It’s time to pamper yourself, baby, because who needs a partner to do it with anyway? Treat yourself to something you enjoy — whether it’s a spa day, a new book, or some online shopping. Or even try to relinquish some of your anger and sadness by working out. Physical activity, like practicing yoga, going for a run, or even dancing your heart out in a studio class, can be the best stress relief as it can boost your mood and reduce stress.
- Reflect on Your Relationship
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I know this has been said a lot before, and it can be tough to hear sometimes, but there are a lot of lessons you can learn from past relationships. And it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Take this time to reflect on what the relationship taught you about yourself and what you want in the future. Journaling is a great strategy for jotting this stuff down. Write down all of your thoughts and feelings because this can help you process what happened and understand your emotions better.
- Reconnect With Your Goals
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Whether you want to focus more on your academics or spice up your personal life, achieving your goals will boost your confidence. Diving into your studies can deepen your knowledge and open doors to exciting career opportunities. Alternatively, taking up a new hobby can bring joy, relaxation, and a sense of accomplishment. Engaging in new activities can be both fulfilling and fun.
- SET BOUNDARIES
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While you might have set up some boundaries with your ex before you broke up, you definitely need to revisit your digital boundaries. Be mindful of your social media usage. Consider taking a break or setting specific times to check your accounts. Personal boundaries can be challenging as you need to respect your own emotional limits. Know it will always be okay to take a step back from social situations that still might be triggering.
- Seek Expert Help
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Professional counseling services can be a great way to gain additional support. Having an outside figure listen to your concerns can provide valuable insight into moving on in the healthiest way possible. Through this process, you can gain new perspectives, develop coping strategies, and build resilience, ultimately fostering personal growth and well-being. Additionally, there are several mental health apps, such as Headspace or Calm, that can offer guided meditations and relaxation techniques.
- Embrace the Single Life
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Remember, being single is a powerful opportunity to focus on your own growth and happiness. Use this time to discover more about yourself, and explore what makes you happy independently of a relationship. Your journey is yours alone, and there’s immense strength in that. Celebrate your individuality and the endless possibilities ahead.
- Stay Positive
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It might be easy to drift into a negative mindset, wondering “what could have been” with your ex or if a new partner is “better,” but don’t let a silly IG post bring you down. Practice positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem. By focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you can shift your mindset and become more grateful rather than resentful of what was once there. Be happy for them, and you’ll not only be able to move on but also feel good about doing so.
You deserve a love that celebrates who you are and encourages you to reach your full potential. So, keep your head up and your heart open, and remember that the best is yet to come.