I’m sure everyone expects a single 21-year old to be bitter AF towards Valentine’s Day, and you wouldn’t be wrong. I’m a single 21-year old, and I’m all for the bitterness on Valentine’s Day. Maybe things would be different if I were in a relationship and had the opportunity to spend the day with my S.O. But *sigh* I’m single, and I simply don’t understand the purpose of Valentine’s Day. This isn’t a freshly discovered bitterness; I’ve been fueling my hate fire for the ~holiday of love~ since a young age, and it has stuck with me all this time.
It all started in second grade. We were exchanging cards and candy with our classmates on Valentine’s Day. I bought generic cards and lollipops for everyone––except my crush. For him, I crafted a Paper Source-worthy handmade card and attached a heart shaped piece of chocolate (I know, I was total girlfriend material). I spilled my heart out in this hand-written letter, confessing that I “liked” (like, like-liked) him. I was so incredibly confident that this card would win him over. Needless to say, it didn’t work…at all. In fact, he showed all of his friends the very personal card that I made for him and even gave the piece of chocolate to another girl! It was like The Bachelor, but for elementary schoolers. My 8-year-old heart was broken, and I haven’t been the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day ever since.
Every year, I continue to question this insignificant holiday. Why is there one specific day dedicated to showing off your #relationshipgoals and giving your S.O. the appreciation they deserve for putting up with you? Don’t people in relationships do that every day? Couples buy elaborate gifts for each other to celebrate the day, too. From giant teddy bears to diamond earrings, the amount of money spent on Valentine’s Day is mind-blowing. According to the National Retail Federation, the total spending for this insignificant holiday is expected to top $18.2 billion. That’s nearly $140 per person. And doesn’t it seem odd that part of Valentine’s Day is literally giving and receiving gifts to prove love for one another?
Also, I’m wholly unsatisfied with the portrayal of singles on Valentine’s Day. In pop culture, the single people eat their feelings on V-Day, stuffing their faces with Godiva chocolates that they have to buy for themselves because they have no lover to buy it for them. Apparently, Valentine’s Day is the day when the singles mope around, questioning why they haven’t found “The One”. Did it ever occur to anyone that single people might be happy about their relationship status on such a day?
I must admit, it would be nice to spend Valentine’s Day with a significant other. I’ve never been in a relationship, so if we’re be honest, spending any day with a significant other would be a dream. But all of the hearts, chocolates and roses surrounding Valentine’s Day can make a single person feel ashamed. It’s just a reminder of the loneliness they may feel and an glowering reminder of their lack of a romantic life. That doesn’t seem very fair to me.
Here’s my suggestion: Valentine’s Day could instead be about love in general, not just romantic love. I’m tired of feeling ashamed of being single. I want to just continue living my life, treating the day like any other day. But again, society (and chocolate-producing corporations) perpetuate the modernized idea that V-Day has to be about romance. And it’s impossible to ignore.
I’m all for continuing my bitterness towards this day, thank you very much. And yes, I’ll confess, I am incredibly jealous of people in relationships when February 14 rolls around each year. But honestly, I don’t have a problem buying myself a box of chocolates if no one else will buy them for me. And unlike people in relationships, I can eat the entire box by myself without sharing.
So, to my fellow single ladies spending this Valentine’s Day alone, treat yourself! You don’t need to spend a whopping $140 on a gift for your significant other. Instead, spend that money on a shopping spree or a spa day for yourself. Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be about the love for a significant other. Make the day about loving yourself, loving your BFFs, loving pizza, or whatever else your yearning heart so desires. But don’t stop being bitter––us single girls have the power to alter the societal view of Valentine’s Day. Even if one day, “The One” comes along and you spend the day buying gifts for your lover, enjoy this year’s holiday loving yourself.